What Are The Rules of Engagement?

Decency and respect…it’s that simple.

I had a comment on one of my articles that got my head turning. It was a comment against a phrase that I had said about the MeToo movement and how it gave men the space to take accountability for their actions. This author said that it was a ridiculous statement because men have always had that space — and she’s completely right.

For some context, that particular piece was in regards to the behaviour of children and how it could affect change when they grow into adults. This includes consent and harassment, particularly, in the workplace.

Since the rise of MeToo, there’s been a lot of chatter amongst men, my friends included, about their “fear” when it came to engaging with their female coworkers. This fear was based on the underlying fact that they were unsure what the rules of engagement were.

When the word “accountability” comes into play, it’s basically taking responsibility for your words and actions. This means that if your actions make someone upset or uncomfortable, you’re able to recognize that and apologize.

It’s not about shaming an individual for what they have done. When these conversations came up and I heard those statements above, it was clear that accountability was the issue. These men understand what harassment is and how it can get there, but instead, they’re putting the responsibility onto the other party to tell them where they’ve gone wrong.

If you’re having to ask how to engage and what to say, the main point that you are missing would be to have some decent respect, it’s that simple. We’re not asking for much.

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