I Went On A Date With A Male Version Of Myself

It took me a while to realize why it felt weird.

I used to tell myself that I didn’t need to get married again or have sex with loads of guys. I just want to get dressed up pretty and go out on a fancy date.

Might need to reconsider that wishlist.

I’ve barely dated and I’m already tired. You have to give a shit about what a stranger is telling you. I heavily dislike other humans and being a Covid social recluse, it’s a hardcore flex for me to see someone else and feign interest in their stories.

Last night, I was genuinely excited about this date. Rob and I texted for over a week and he was on the ball with every sarcastic, asshole wisecrack I made. Color me impressed. We met for drinks and dinner last night.

I wore a new dress and shoes that sadly sat idle in my closet courtesy of social distancing. Rob was tall, so I could wear my new 4" heeled stilettos, which I paired with a grey wrap dress. Forgot a safety pin to make sure I didn’t accidentally flash anyone but it looked sexy enough being low cut and slightly loose.

It’s the first time I’ve had a dinner date indoors, I looked pretty good and I was excited.

My first impression: he’s big. Like linebacker big. And loud. I didn’t expect such a deep Barry White level of voice.

It was martini night at the restaurant. I never drink martinis. I had three. I also rarely drink (again, courtesy of a pandemic), so my new rule is a max of 2 drinks on a date. My body can’t recover like before. Plus, I need to stick with drinking one less glass than any guy I’m with.

Rob owns a pub, which gave plenty of fodder for conversation since my job is Pretend-to-Work-a-Desk-Job-From-Home-While-Juggling-Children-and-a-Home. He was shocked that it was my first time eating indoors anywhere since last March (patios excluded).

Talking about our separations, I mentioned that one goal was to live a life of authenticity. Rob had told his ex the same thing. Every time a subject changed, I’d say something and then realize, I probably overshared. But I told him, “I have nothing to hide and so I don’t care if you ask me anything”. The story of using a fetish site…

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