Top 5 Ways The Internet Has Made Me A Bad Friend

By: Angelina Moncayo

Socially media platforms forces upon us a feeling of intimacy and closeness that doesn’t actually exist. I personally, have met many people through social media and felt as if I knew these people based on their posts and comments. However, the Internet is filled with inaccurate information with a purpose of confusing and deceiving teenagers and many others, causing them to believe these false advertisements and create a sense of connection with the person who is posting them. Furthermore, it has only taken me a few interactions with these people to consider them to be friends, and I’m thankful social media has brought them into my life. But in comparison to my friends that I interact with in person, I barely know these people. You think you know someone, but you don’t. And its social media’s fault, but more so our own.

Social media has convinced adolescents that being popular will always be regarded as a sign of success. Rather than having a few friends that care about you, you crave more than that, and try to create relationships with all of your followers. These “friends” will want to confide in you- to take on a detailed tour of how their day was, their feelings, their insecurities, their lives, etc. However, because we underestimate how much time and effort it takes to be in a friendship we disregard our friends emotions and make them feel unwanted. In addition, we don’t take into consideration our own emotions and anxieties and how we very frequently need to be able to talk to someone about them. Due to the fact, that we create all these fake friendships we never have anyone that is trustworthy enough to confide in. As a result, both individuals in the friendship are unhappy and you can no longer call that person a friend. Maybe we should be focused less on making a lot of friends and connections, and focus more on making a few real friends?

Social media misleads us to assume we have a large, built-in support system. But that support system is simply a number, not real life. While the importance of “community” emanates from social media platforms, families, friends, we feel liked we’ve accomplished this goal because we’re constantly building a tribe of followers online. However, as we are forced to overcome obstacles in life without the help of these followers and so-called “friends”, we quickly realize the core of of community lies in a very few faithful friends who know us best. The only way to foster a community is to get to know people in real life, grow old with them, and just live life focusing on the things that actually matter, unlike followers.

Social media puts up virtual walls. None of the influences we look up to, share their every day lives with their followers, and rather focus of the most insta-worthy moments. We only Instagram our best moments and share the most fascinating moments of our day, in fear of what others might think if we posted our real lives. Furthermore, we as a community, have gotten really good at altering the stories of our lives so they look seemingly perfect. Yet, it’s only when we share our true selves, in our brokenness, and at our worst times, when we can become fully known. The friends who know us best are those who have seen us at our worst-and accepted us for who we are. Those types of friendships are only achieved through moments that we’d all be too embarrassed to divulge on Instagram.

Social media memorializes our journeys while life passes us by. No matter the amount of photos we capture or clever captions we create, nothing can replace the place of physical experience. Not even the best applied filter can substitute the feeling you get when you spend some quality time with your friends. No video can adequately convey that life risking moment when you just off a cliff, or choose to go on the biggest slide in the amusement park. No amount of likes can replace the feeling you get when you spend time with your loved one, the touch of them onto your own skin. Words and pictures will just never be able to fulfill all the emotions that demand to felt during these experiences. And social media prevents us from realizing this. We miss the important moments because we believe capturing the moment in a photo and the likes and comments we receive will be enough to supersede the reality of the moment. But comments and likes are worthless compared to the magic of ordinary moments-best experiences with others that care about you. So in a social media obsessed world, how can we truly live the moment? I may not know all the answers, but I do know the best thing you can do for yourself and the others around you is to turn your phone off when you’re with them, and give them your full attention.

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